Cats on FB
by Blazenaire Alda
Summary: Thought it'd be interesting if somehow, the Jellicles managed to create facebook accounts. It'll include profiles and wall posts/arguements!
1. Tugger's Profile

A/N: I saw this idea a while ago and thought it would be a _bit_ unusual for the Jellicles to get a facebook account... so her it goes. *cowers in a corner* please don't kill me! I know it is difficult for cats to get facebook!

Anyway, Tugger is up first. At first it'll be profiles then it goes on…

Disclaimer: Don't own Cats at all. T.S Elliot and Andrew Lloyd Webber are the ones to ask! Or Facebook, as a matter of fact!

**Name:** Rum Tum Tugger

**Gender: **Tom

**Birthday:** I'm young!

**Eye Colour:** Eyes are _soo_ cliché

**Hair Colour:** Don't you mean fur?

**Parents:** Are too old for their own good!

**Siblings:** I'm better than them all anyway…

**Relationship Status:** Um… does Bomba have to see this?

**Interested In:** Queens!

**Looking For:** Whatever I want!

**Religion:** Well, everyone seems to worship me!

**Likes:** Dancing, flirting, queens that are so into me!

**Dislikes:** That old cat, Grizabella. Totally ruins my song!

**Characteristics:** Outgoing, desirable (even ask Etcetera!)

**Activities:** Dancing, flirting

**Interests:** Didn't I answer this already? Such a waste of time!

**Music:** The energetic and catchy kind. Like me!

**About Me:** I thought everyone knew this! Anywho… I love being myself. Tuggerish-ness should be a word 'cause it perfectly describes me. Well, it _is_ named after me!


	2. Munkustrap's Profile

A/N: First profile down! Now it's… Munkustrap's turn! Cats on fb seems kinds weird, mainly because the fact that it's a bit hard to get a working computer into the Junkyard… but anyway! It seems to have happened apparently!

Disclaimer: Still don't own Cats or Facebook!

**Name:** Munkustrap

**Gender:** Tom

**Birthday:** I really don't keep count!

**Eye Colour:** Dark. I know that much

**Hair Colour:** Well, my fur is black and silver

**Parents:** Old Deuteronomy. Such a charming guy!

**Siblings:** Alonzo and Tugger (though it doesn't seem like it!)

**Relationship Status:** Taken

**Interested In:** Demeter. And her only!

**Looking For:** Safety!

**Religion:** The Everlasting Cat

**Likes:** Singing and dancing, being around the tribe and having a good time in general.

**Dislikes:** Macavity disrupting the peace, Tugger prancing around trying to seduce all the kittens.

**Characteristics:** Careful, protective

**Activities:** Singing and dancing (though I already said that), protecting everyone from Macavity, telling stories

**Interests:** I already said all this!

**Music:** Any really!

**About Me:** I'm a protective, strong cat. It is my priority to keep everyone safe and away from the clutches of Macavity. Though everyone considers me a leader, I just feel like I should keep everyone safe. It only takes a minute of distraction for something bad to happen. Also I enjoy singing and dancing very much but I have to make sure that my little brother Tugger doesn't cause too much trouble.


	3. Mistoffelee's Profile

A/N: Two profiles down… a lot more to go! I don't intend to make one for every cat though! But up next is… Mistoffelees!

Disclaimer: I will never own Facebook or Cats. Ok?

**Name:** Quaxo or Mr. Mistoffelees

**Gender:** I'm a tom

**Birthday:** Don't know the exact date but I'm a young tom

**Eye Colour:** Brown

**Hair Colour:** Black fur

**Parents:** I think they are magical like me but I have more of it!

**Siblings:** They rule!

**Relationship Status:** Single but I'm interesting in a certain someone

**Interested In:** Little Miss Victoria

**Looking For:** Ways to get Vicky to like me, to improve my magic

**Religion:** Well… I guess the Everlasting Cat

**Likes:** Magic, dancing, Victoria, being with my friends

**Dislikes:** I don't like Plato very much because he also likes Victoria but no grudges held against him!

**Characteristics:** Shy, quiet, entertaining, fun-loving

**Activities:** Practising my magic, dancing

**Interests:** Magic, Victoria, dancing

**Music:** Anything bouncy or just music that you can dance to

**About Me:** I'm pretty shy but once you get to know me, I'm a very fun cat to be around. I love dancing and showing everyone my magic, though a couple of the younger toms say I'm a show-off. At least I am not Tugger, no offence to him though!


	4. Etcetera's Profile

A/N: Ok. One more profile then I'll get this up and running! Starting to get a bit repetitive! Now I present to you… *drumroll* Etcetera!

Also… sorry for the insane amount of time I had to write… *shudder* Tugger. Too many times for my liking!

Disclaimer: DOES. NOT. BELONG. TO. ME.

Nothing at all!

**Name:** Etcetera or Cettie (by Tugger *screams*)

**Gender:** Queen

**Birthday:** Erm… um… TUGGER!

**Eye Colour:** Brown… like TUGGER'S!

**Hair Colour:** Different colours. But, ain't it called fur?

**Parents:** They are SO mean!

**Siblings:** Everyone is my sister! I don't like brothers! They stink like rotten fish! Blugh!

**Relationship Status:** TUGGER!

**Interested In:** TUGGER!

**Looking For:** TUGGER!

**Religion:** TUGGER!

**Likes:** TUGGER! And dancing too! But… TUGGER!

**Dislikes:** Bombalurina. She took Tugger before me! :( And brothers too!

**Characteristics:** Bouncy, Hypo, FUN! :D

**Activities:** Staring at Tugger, dancing with Tugger, singing with Tugger, being touched by Tugger. *sighs*

**Interests:** TUGGER!

**Music:** Anything Tugger likes, I like!

**About Me:** I love Tugger! He's so… um… err… Tugger-ish! I also like dancing with my friends a lot! They are SO awesome.


	5. Rumpleteazer

A/N: Looks like a while before this is gonna go anywhere 'cause the Jellicles need their profiles! Well, Rumpleteazer is next! Anyway, yes she is supposed to have the Cockney accent even though she's typing

Disclaimer: As I have said before, and I'll say it again. Cats and Facebook do not belong to me!

**Name:** Rumpleteazah!

**Gender:** Queen

**Birthday:** Oi don' know!

**Eye Colour:** Brown

**Hair Colour:** CALICO! Oopies caps loc'

**Parents:** Um… Do oi need any?

**Siblings:** No' 'Jerrie!

**Relationship Status:** 'Aken by 'Jerrie

**Interested In:** MUNGOJERRIE! Oh, caps loc' agai'

**Looking For:** Food

**Religion:** Evahlastin' Cat

**Likes:** Robbin', dancin', singin', moi Woolworth pearl 'ecklace

**Dislikes:** bein' caugh' by people, losin' moi loot

**Characteristics:** Bouncy, fun-lovin', secretive… ok, 'Jerrie says no' really

**Activities:** robbin' with 'Jerrie, dancin' and singin', bein' energeti'

**Interests:** robbin', dancin', singin', bein' with 'Jerrie

**Music:** Explosive, bouncy, bea'-filled music

**About Me:** Oi'm a Jellicle cat who always goes out robbin' with moi cutie 'Jerrie. Oi love dancin' to music with loadsa bea' an' rhythm!


	6. Munkustrap's Ordeal

A/N: So we are up and running! More cats to come but lets just stick with what we've got for now…

Disclaimer: *Sigh* I don't own anything but this extremely weird mind of mine. Sadly enough, but true.

Munkustrap's Wall

Post by RumTum Tugger at 12:38 am:

"Hey, you FINALLY found some way of entertainment. It's a miracle! BTW, let Demter know that I send my love to her."

Comment by Munkustrap Jellicle at 12:43 am:

"Um… hey. I guess. And WHY did you say 'send my love to Demeter?' She is my precious queen and I love her dearly. So, don't say that. Ok?"

Comment by RumTum Tugger 12:46 am:

"Yeah, whatever! So, I can't say luv ya to my bro's spesh gal?"

Comment by Munkustrap at 12:49 am:

"What are you saying? What is spesh? You don't seem to speak Jellicle anymore. I have a weirdo for a brother!"

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 12:50 am:

"DON'T BE MEAN TO HIM! YOU SILLY FUZZBALL OF A POLLICLE'S BOTTOM! I HATE YOU!"

Comment by Munkustrap Jellicle at 12:54 am:

"Etcetera! Didn't Jenny tell you not to call other cats names? I am pretty sure she did. You aren't supposed to do that."

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 12:55 am:

":P. Don't care! :P"

Comment by RumTum Tugger:

"Wow. Now that's how you do it! Good work Cettie. *pats on head* Now can you leave my brother and me, the ever-so-hot, irresistible Tugger to sort this out like proper adult toms? Please Cettie?"

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovva at 12:57 am:

":D :D :D :D :D :D :D

Ok, I'll go and let you, the untouchable, powerful, mouth-watering Tugger to sort it out! BYEEEEEEEEEE!"

Comment by Munkustrap Jellicle at 12:59 am:

"That's new. Mouth-watering Tugger. What's next? Scrumptious Rummy Tummy? Haha"

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 1:45 am:

"I'm back. Just had to deal with a small thing. And now I'm… WHAT? I AM NOT A SCRUMPTIOUS RUMMY TUMMY TUGGEY!"

Comment by Munkustrap Jellicle at 1:48 am:

"Ha. Revenge is sweet."

Comment by Rumpleteasah JerrieLovaa at 1:56 am:

"Aye, ya didn' say tha' when me and 'Jerrie borrowed ya fuzzy, ball o' wool. Hypocrite, fraud, 'is is a travesty of Jus'ice!"

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 1:59 am:

"See. I have everyone on my side. I rule. Full stop."

Comment by Munkustrap Jellicle at 2:03 am:


	7. Etcetera's 'Luv' Status

A/N: Time to update this again! Haven't really written anything for Cats on FB for a while, been working on a couple of other stories recently. Well, here we go. Etcetera doesn't really say a lot in the musical, so let's make up for it now.

Disclaimer: Neither Cats or Facebook are my creations. Only this fanfic with both together are…

Etcetera's Status

**Cettie TuggerLovaa at 2:20 pm:**

I luv the Rum Tum Tugger so much! :D :D :D 3

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 2:21 pm:

"Luv ya too ;)"

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 2:24 pm:

"AWWWWW! I LUV YOU SOOOOOOO MUCH! :D"

Comment by RumTumTugger at 2:29 pm:

"Maybe I could get ya a spesh gift just for my #1 cute little fankit!"

Comment by Munkustrap Jellicle at 2:42 pm:

"WAIT! What exactly is this 'gift'? What do you plan to give her? I will intervene if I have to, Tugger!"

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 2:43 pm:

" *faints* I LUV YOU TUGGER! *screams then faints again* "

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 2:45 pm:

"Cettie, you are so cute! ;). Tiger Stripes, why do ya hafta be so boring? I wouldn't even be allowed to shake my hips if Bomba wasn't Dem's best friend!"

Comment by Munkustrap Jellicle at 2:46 pm:

"I need to keep EVERYONE out of trouble. You know exactly what I mean Tugger!"

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 2:49 pm:

"Jeez Stripes! It's just a little plush toy that I found of me!"

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 2:56 pm:

"OMEC! I LUV YOU TUGGY! *huggles Tuggy*"

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 2:59 pm:

" *pats on head* Thanks Cettie ;)"

A/N: Short, I know but hoped you liked it.

BTW, I'm wanted to know if there were any particular Jellicles you would like to see open a fb account? Also I am considering letting a few OC's in as well. Please review with ideas or suggestions!


	8. Coricopat's Profile

A/N: Hi, I'm back with the next profile. Sorry it took so long but I'm here with Coricopat's profile, thanks for your suggestions! To be honest, I wasn't too sure on how Cori's one would be like so here it goes!

Disclaimer: Same as always. I do not own Cats nor do I own Facebook.

**Name:** Coricopat

**Gender:** Tom

**Birthday:** I'm not too sure of the exact date but I do share mine with Tantomile

**Eye Colour:** Dark, the same as many of the other Jellicles' eyes

**Hair Colour:** Not the word I would use but several different colours

**Parents:** That is one thing I _really_ do not know

**Siblings:** Only Tantomile

**Relationship Status:** I am a single tom. Haven't really found anyone yet but doesn't mean I am in love with my sister! Not a fan of incest

**Interested In:** Depends what you mean

**Looking For:** Hmm… again. It depends on what you are referring to

**Religion:** Life to the Everlasting Cat

**Likes:** There are quite a few things. Dancing being one. I do consider most of the other Jellicles friends and my surrogate family.

**Dislikes:** If I must insert something, it would have to be the false rumours about my sister and I.

**Characteristics:** Quite reserved and silent, though I do enjoy being with the rest of the tribe. I do take pleasure in dancing so I do not consider myself lazy.

**Activities:** Dancing, participating in group activities and singing occasionally.

**Interests:** Learning about the different Jellicle personalities and Jellicles in general.

**Music:** Any type of music but I do prefer the slower, more unhurried type. I find it relaxing and pleasing to dance to.

**About Me:** In my own opinion, I judge myself as a calm, relaxed Jellicle who is quite patient with others. Contrary to most beliefs, my sister and I are quite different. She tends to be more outgoing while I prefer to be in the background.


	9. Quaxo's Sparkle Problem

A/N: Here's the next chapter. Got about six profiles up but I will write some up soon. Got too much time on my hands for once!

In Coricopat's profile, it seemed a bit plain but in character, so I will try and keep it in character but he will have his moments.

Btw, Quaxo's/Misto's name will change, depending on who he happens to be at the time. Eg. Quaxo MagicMisto or MagicMister Mistoffelees.

Disclaimer: One fact, I am one of the female gender. Last time I heard, ALW or T.S Elliot were men.

Mistoffelees'/Quaxo's Wall

Post by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 3:24pm:

"Misto, how come you keep changing your fur? I get confused!"

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 3:26pm:

"Well, when I am Quaxo as I am now, I have white fur on my legs and my left arm. When I am Mistoffelees, I don't. Understand?"

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 3:34pm:

"Erm… kinda."

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 3:39pm:

"Let me explain. Quaxo happens to be more white while Mistoffelees is almost all black except his face and chest. Also Quaxo doesn't sparkle."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 3:42pm:

"Hey! I don't sparkle! It just happens to be my magic just surrounding me!"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 3:43pm:

"… Which is also known by the common name of sparkles! :P"

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 3:47pm:

"Hehehe! Coricopat rules! :D"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 3:47pm:

"Thank you, Etcetera. Though I don't think that Quaxo or Mistoffelees would agree with you. Oh well."

Comment by MagicMister Mistoffelees at 3:50pm:

"I. Do. Not. Sparkle. Understand?"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 3:54pm:

"Just as Jennyanydots is very understanding when you do not wash behind your ears."

Comment by MagicMister Mistoffelees at 3:57pm:

"*Sigh* Please do not bring up that incident again. That was a very painful evening."

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 4:02pm:

"What happened? Please tell me! *big kitty cat eyes*"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:09pm:

"I am not allowed to answer that. If I do tell you, I run the extremely high risk of losing part of my beloved tail."

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 4:11pm:

"PLEEEAASSEEEEE! *even bigger kitty cat eyes*"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:14pm:

"Why don't you ask someone else, like… Skimbleshanks?"

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovva at 4:15pm:

"Okies! :D"

Comment by MagicMister Mistoffelees at 4:21pm:

"Why? For the love of the Everlasting Cat, WHY?"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:22pm:

"If you had accepted the fact that you sparkle, you would not have to suffer the embarrassment of having Jennyanydots bath you for a month again."

Comment by MagicMister Mistoffelees at 4:26pm:

"I really dislike you right now!"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:32pm:

"It is your own fault. Do not try to deny the fact that it is.


	10. Cori Has a QF

A/N: Back to updating Cats on FB, I've been writing a few other stories recently. So much to do, so little time to do it all. My new mission is to learn the lyrics to Memory but I've got a problem, I am going to learn it in Finnish. I've anyone could help me, I'd love you forever!  
Anyway... back to the story.

Disclaimer: Check all the previous chapters.

Coricopat's Wall

Post by Munkustrap Jellicle at 3:57pm:

"I have been asked to remind you of 'you-know-what' at 'you-know-when.' May I ask what is this about?"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:01pm:  
"It's nothing important. Don't lose sleep over it."

Comment by Munkustrap Jellicle at 4:04pm:  
"It sounds a little suspicious to me. Are you sure?"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:10pm:  
"I assure you, it is nothing dangerous or harmful to anyone. Trust my word."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 4:24pm:  
"Cori has a queenfriend! Cori has a queenfriend! Hahaha!"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:25pm:  
"I am not in a relationship of any kind."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 4:28pm:  
"Try telling that to your special queen next to me!"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:32pm:  
"Please leave my wall alone."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 4:37pm:  
"Hm... let me think about it... NO! Not after what you did to me!"

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 4:38pm:  
"Cori has a queenfriend!"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:41pm:  
"May I ask WHY have you put these false remarks as your status?"

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 4:44pm:  
"Because it's true! :P"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 4:46pm:  
"Shut up sparkle princess!"

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 4:50pm:  
"Oh my Everlasting Cat... WHY DID YOU SAY THAT?"

Comment by Cori JelliCat by 4:57pm:  
"That happens to be the truth, doesn't it? :P"

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 5:00pm:  
"That's it... CORI AND HIS QUEEN SITTING IN A TREE!"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 5:02pm:  
"That's it... I give up."

*Post as been deleted*


	11. Demeter's Profile

A/N: Back to updating Cats on fb again, sorry for not updating any sooner. This time we're going to see Demeter's profile.

Disclaimer: *sighs* I don't own Cats or Facebook.

**Name:** Demeter

**Gender:** Queen

**Birthday:** I'm not too sure but I have better things to remember

** Eye Colour:** Dark

**Hair Colour:** Don't us Jellicles have fur?

**Parents:** Well… I don't remember too well. They left me alone.

**Siblings:** None

**Relationship Status:** With Munkustrap

**Interested In:** A lot of things I guess.

**Looking For:** A safe life

**Religion:** We all have faith in the Everlasting Cat

**Likes:** Dancing, singing, generally being with the other Jellicles, having an enjoyable time

**Dislikes:** *cough* Macavity *cough*

**Characteristics:** Shy, timid, smart

**Activities:** Dancing, singing

**Interests:** I am pretty sure I've already answered these.

**Music:** Any type I guess

**About Me:** Well, my name is Demeter and I am a Jellicle cat. I love my mate, Munkustrap very much and I am so lucky to have someone so protective like him. Macavity seems to have a tendency of trying to attack everyone so that's why I don't like him as much anymore. He used to be a friend of mine but no more.


	12. Cori and the Mystery Queen

A/N: Back to updating again, been a little slack recently. I still would appreciate it if people/Jellicles sent in their ideas for whose profile I create next, it would help me very much. Enjoy.

Disclaimer: Still do not claim ownership over the characters or anything else.

Quaxo's/Mistoffelees' Wall

Post by Cori JelliCat at 10:17am:

"Will you please stop causing my life to be extremely uncomfortable? I am tired of the constant irritation."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 10:18am:

"Hmm… no :P"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 10:21am:  
"Why not? It is starting to irritate me deeply."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 10:22am:

"I'll do it if you tell everyone who that queen was."

Comment by Cori MagicMisto at 10:25am:

"As I have repeatedly said, I am not in any kind of a romantic relationship."

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 10:31am:  
"Ahh… just a one night thing, aye?"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 10:37am:

"What? No way!"

Comment by Dem Cattish at 10:42am:

"What is going on here?"

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 10:43am:

"So… sweetheart, how ya doing?"

Comment by Dem Cattishat 10:47am:

"No, don't start that again. I am not interested in anyone BUT my actual mate, dear Munkustrap."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 10:49am:  
"What the heck? Tug, this is no time to be picking up queens."

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 10:53am:  
"Especially your brother's mate."

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 10:54am:

"Come on, Dem. You'll have a great time. ;)"

Comment by Dem Cattish at 10:56am:

"I don't wish to have anything with you, Rum Tum Tugger."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 10:57am:

"Let's back to the important topic, Cori's queenfriend!"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 10:58am:

"I sincerely loathe you."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 11:01am:

"And how many times have you said that, dear friend?"

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 11:02am:

"So that's who you were with. ;) Want a few tips?"

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 11:02am:

"Erm… awkward."

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 11:05am:

"I don't wish to be given any 'tips' from you, Rum Tum Tugger. Quaxo, it is quite awkward indeed and it happens to be your fault."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 11:07am:

"How? I wasn't the one that asked if you wanted help in your love life!"

Comment by RumTum Tugger at 11:07am:

"Oh, alright. Wanna find them out yourself. I'm proud of you, my son that I haven't had yet."

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 11:12am:

"… awkward moment…"

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 11:14am:

"Indeed… anyway, please just tell everyone who you were seeing! I demand you to!"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 11:14am:

"I'd rather inhale your sparkles, if I had a queenfriend to begin with."

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 11:23am:

"Hey! Does that mean I'm your queenfriend?"

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 11:24am:  
"What!"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 11:27am:

"No it doesn't, because I was only showing you how one can fold little square-shaped squares of paper into animal models."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 11:28am:

"HUH?"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 11:29am:

"To rid Quaxo of his obvious confused state of mind, when I was gone, I happened to be showing Etcetera the art of origami."

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 11:32am:

"That happens to be what I was doing at the time of my foretold absence."

Comment by Cettie TuggerLovaa at 11:33am:

"Cori showed me how to make a paper Tugger! :D"

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 11:35am:

"And again, excuse me? You weren't with a queen?"

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 11:36am:

"I would have to disagree with you, because of the simple fact that Etcetera happens to be a queen. A very young one but a queen nonetheless."

Comment by Quaxo MagicMisto at 11:39am:  
"Well… I'm sorry, I guess."

Comment by Cori JelliCat at 11:41am:

"Though your enthusiasm isn't showing too much, I accept your apology. You are very much welcome Quaxo."

Comment by Dem Cattish at 11:59am:

"That doesn't seem to explain why I saw you and another queen kissing each other behind the TSE1 earlier this morning."


End file.
